About being transgender, part 3

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

My apologies for not presenting this in a more cohesive form...but...school and other obligations really limit the amount of time I can devote to this BLOG. As it is...I awoke at 4 AM this morning!!


Continuing upon yesterday's BLOG...the second major factor which determines the viability of transitioning is the family and friends factor. If the individual is single and childless, this is the easiest route. I had no kids and, after being booted out of the house, my marriage was headed for divorce, so I really did not have to confront this issue the way many others have had to. Part of the picture is the nature of the marriage and whether or not it is on solid ground. Either way, the "telling of the spouse" is another of those limiting factors and if it can not be overcome, transition is all but impossible. Generally...there are two possible outcomes. The spouse is SO SHOCKED that the resumption of "normal" relations is all but impossible. And, even if they are able to persist, the strain can often be too much from which to recover.

The second scenario is that the couple IS able to continue the relationship and that they work through this TOGETHER. It probably requires some kind of counseling and may be a long and difficult road.

There are various degrees of making it or not making it...just like anything else in life, it is not black or white, but is composed of an infinite gradations of grey. Children, for example, present a different complication. Do we tell them and how will it affect THEIR emotional states?? Of course, age is an important parameter and helps determine the direction. And, again, there can be a variance in opinions as to the decision to inform the kids and this needs to be addressed as well.

I choose to believe that the difference is really found in the amount and degree of the love between the two persons. If the bonds are very strong...well...anything is possible. If not...well...relationships tend not to persist.

The other part of the family equation are parents and siblings. Although less immediate (not by much) than telling your spouse, it is of enormous consequence and can dramatically affect everyone's lfe.

More on this tomorrow...